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We don't want to alarm you, but the new parent is a complicated creature. Their state of mind is a little like the early stages of a drunk night out. They are euphoric! They have never been so in love!

They thought that they could never love each other as much as yesterday and then BOOM the baby arrives and it is the absolute best present they have ever given each other and sometimes they didn't even know that they wanted it in the first place!

There is something primal about pushing a screaming mini-human into the world and yet within minutes we are tiptoeing around it as if it was an unexploded bomb! We prettify the gross bits ( there are a few of these. They are on a need to know basis only.) We cover up the stretch marks and the saggy bits in an effort to remain a little of the classy girl that once lived in this body, but the reality is that the swimsuit body didn't do anything like as good a job as this wobbly wrinkly one just did!

They are optimistic creatures. They know that the sleeping will get better. They know that everything will pop back into place. (Well, almost everything.) The rush of oxytocin felt by a nursing mother is akin to a hallucinogenic drug. (The Dad's don't have that excuse but they are similarly affected!) She knows, beyond doubt, that her mini human is the actual world health organisation definition of excellence and she can quote the numbers to prove it.

The percentiles which meant nothing to her weeks ago are now the currency of exchange when talking to other new mums. They speak in a language of abbreviations and medical references that few of us understand. Their newly conferred wisdom which all mothers receive on the delivery of an infant kicks in right away particularly about that new infant.

Books and blogs are the latest references, and the number one question on their phone to google is " Is it normal for a newborn to…"

The most important thing to remember is that like the euphoric drinker of earlier it can get worse.

Watch out for the slurred speech. The habit of dozing off when you speak to them is a survival technique because while you are there, the baby is at least with another adult. The next thing you will notice is the dark shadows under the eyes. This is due to lack of sleep and/or dehydration. The cure for this is offering to make drinks and babysit while they snooze. You are unlikely to be allowed to do either.

New parents are under the impression that they are on duty 24/7. This is actually the case, but the rest of us are prepared to sleep at least some of the time. This brings us to food. Never turn up to visit with bringing food.

Anything, from ice-cream to homemade bread and casseroles is acceptable. It would be handy if you brought your own milk if you expect tea (you will have to make it)and a packet of biscuits would not go amiss. While you are in the kitchen if you notice the sink could do with a wipe, please feel free.

When you have your newborn photography experience, you will have to worry about nothing. Just lie back relax, and we will make sure you get the cream cakes fed to you if you can't manage yourself 🙂

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